it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
