Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
