and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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