Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize