This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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