I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
