Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
