I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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