I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
