i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I love you.
Bad choice
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize