yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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