I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
