margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
