You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
