Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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