Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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