3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
