wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i've created a new STD.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
