i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I love you. Go after that dick
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
