trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
