oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
