Pants 0. Shit 1.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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