Just cropdusted the office
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
