real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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