Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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