Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
