I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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