i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
