I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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