I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
