It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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