Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize