are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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