Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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