I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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