So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
