Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
NoShamevember. You game?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
