That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize