I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
