It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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