He is an equal opportunity slut.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
