Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
