Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
