Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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