I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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