i think my mom watched the whole time
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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