I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?