singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.