True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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