You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
