I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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