no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
