can u get pink eye on your cock?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
