you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
