i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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