My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
