her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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