Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
