i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
