There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love you. Go after that dick
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
