I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
