i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
