Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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