Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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