Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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